Gism Butter
Sun, 18 Jul 2004
I retruned to the store approximately three minutes after I'd discovered that the cursed thing was still alive. It was flailing about in the back of my car, and about to leap out my missing rear window, but I managed to pull the car over and calm it down. I immediately gripped it by the legs and took it back to the store. The whole three block walk found me riding out the last rushes of jitters. These were not new jitters. These jitters began on the original walk to the car, chicken in hand; twinge in mind of the mysterious feeling of life coming from my newly purchased chicken.
Inside the store, the manager was smirking through slanted eyes at his wife or sister or daughter or what-not. I knew I was in for a tough, uphill battle. The purchasing process had been preceeded by lots of giggling from underneath the counter, a dank, cluttered affair at that. And now, I was staring down the barrel of a scene that I could not escape, and had long foreseen coming.
Hello?
Yes, miss?
I have a complaint aboout this chicken you sold me, not three minutes ago.
From where sir?
From this very boutique!
Ah, yes, the Rhode Island Red? What's wrong with it?
It's alive. That's what's wrong with it!
Oh, no.... no... they tend to kick around after they're killed, sir!
Look, this chicken you sold me is alive. Don't! I want a refund, or an exchange for a similar, but dead chicken.
That
chicken is dead, sir.
No, it's blood...deep breath.. It's not. This chicken is most definitely alive.
Look, you just have to hang them from the clothesline, sir. It's how they bleed it out fastest.
With this, he took the chicken from me and quickly clipped its feet to a long rope he had strung up behind his little counter. Mr. Fatty was not pleased.And, thusly, he stared down upon us with great anger, and furious vengance. It had become too silly. As had the hotel that has become our house. It's a mess now. But it's our mess. Interestingly enough, the party really didn't cause much chaos, aside from one baby-induced coke spillage. But the baby had a chance to play with CGBC, so it was all fine and dandy.
posted at: 04:29 | path: | 123 Comments