Some time after the operation, V awoke with the passion and fury of an angry baboon. The animal heart beating within her caused her to grow stronger and more dangerous with the passing days. By thursday, we were forced to enroll her in training classes to hone her now deadly powers down to a sharpened point.
Tonight, she practiced her straight sword. Kick Boxing is on Monday. Shaolin Kung Fu is on T days. Ninja wall scaling and assasination classes are scheduled for this fall, but we're not sure whether we should choose them over the simultaneously scheduled scuba demolitions and underwater wrestling classes.
To V, however, I don't think it matters which she takes, as long as in enhances her ability to kill for international drug cartels. It's not a pretty business, but it certainly pays the bills. And every once in a while there are perks. The guy V offed in Panama last week had an iPod! 10 GB's! The three nuns she took out in Equador were carrying some very silky under garments, all with the tags still on them, and the visitng diplomat she offed in Singapore had tickets to The Lion King. Man, that was a good show.
The only real problem with having a deadly assasin in training living in your house is that you never know when the windows will burst violently open as ninjas invade our abode. This has become an almost nightly problem. Whch is why we use Ninja-Be-Gone. It's the only way to ensure the saftey of your family when the silent killers of the east are skulking about your doorstep.
But V protects me from them, usually. A few weeks back, one of my computers was hit with a throwing star, but I got a replacement drive cover, and V pulled the head off the guy who threw it. Unless she's tired, I can usually just go about my shiftless-lay-about-ery at all times. But that monitor mirror I installed has really made me feel less secure. I can now see behind me, and sometimes the violence comes a lot closer than it feels like when you're not watching.