She swaggared in front of me this blond that kept herself in such perfect
order that there's nothing left inside but a hollow shell of an ego. She
obviously had no self esteme, despite her radiant outward appearance. Three frat
guys to the left of me halted their conversation mid-sentence as they stared in
awe at her miniscule, heart-shaped ass.

This chicky had perfectly blond hair, a razor thin body, and an outfit that left
very little to the imagination. A thin line between her legs became the deep
indentation of a camel toe as she walked, and the frat guys whisper and proded
each other to notice this fact. They spread out now, two in front, one in back,
each watching a piece of her that became their own personal totem.

Finally, one got the gumption to talk to her. It was an awkward position to make
a move: the herd of humanity that had exited the plane together was now being
shuffled into a tall white box atop monster truck tires. This contraption was
supposed to usher us to the baggage claim and exits of Dulles airport.

About ten feet from the entrance to this bus-thing, the frat guy made his move.
I could only hear the tail end of the speech, and I have a feeling she only
caught a bit more than I. "...Stars and put them in your eyes."

It was horrible. A manufactured pitch line older than I was. But I couldn't
believe it: she smiled at him. As we moved into the car, the frat guys piled in
behind him making pumping motions with their fists, but remaining quiet so as
not to break his concentration.

Inside the bus, fridgid arctic air blasted away the crisp summer day. As I
pushed forward, trying to find a bar to hold onto, I looked back and saw the
blond now sitting on the lap of the frat guy. Amazing. He wasn't even
attractive.

As Christina Ricci said in the Opposite of Sex, stupid beautiful people breed
and have lots of stupid beautiful children.

And now they seemed to be coppulating, right in front of an asian woman
screaming about her child's position on the bus-thing. She bounced on his lap,
moaning and lolling her head back and forth, and he rose his hands above his
head, mouth in the shape of the letter O.